Ang BF kong DDS

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Anti-Duterte ako. Maraming rason kung bakit.

Tapos, dahil sa tadhana, may naka-date akong lalaki.

Naging boyfriend ko.

Nalaman ko DDS pala…

Hindi naman kami halos nag-uusap about politics. Wala naman yung “usual signs” na he is a DDS. He gives sensible opinions on several things; psychology, ethics, philosophy and matalino sya.

Moment of Truth…

Then minsan natanong ko sya ng deretsahan. “DDS ka ba?”. Deretsahan din naman nya akong sinagot ng oo. Yun na yata yung isa sa mga “oo” na hindi mo gugustuhing marinig.

Syempre, nag away kami. Di ko matanggap na may nakalusot na DDS sa screening ko. Gets ko na ngayon kung bakit kailangan mo ibigay ang social media mo para sa screening ng US Embassy.

At dahil DDS ako pagdating sa pag-ibig…

Anyway, kahit gusto ko na makipagbreak, I decided to give it a shot. Kung DDS sya sa pulitika, masasabi ko na DDS naman ako pagdating sap pag-ibig. TANGA!

Sabi ko nalang sa sarili ko, we share the same passions, we love to debate, we love books, we love knowledge. We loved the company of each other.

But of course there are always two sides to a coin, aside from his political ideology, he is the type of person who disregards authority.

Kahit sobrang dami nang red flags…

Tuwang-tuwa kay Digong pero no smoking saka red light sa trapik hindi masunod. Tapos lagi sinasabi mga walang disiplina daw mga pinoy.

Ilang beses na rin kami nag away because nagtatapon sya ng basura anywhere.

Madalas ang litanya ko: do your part in little ways. Yun lang ang pangaral ko sa kanya.

Gradually, he showed changes and I am glad. Ipapakita nya sa akin sometimes, “Look, naghanap ako basurahan. Di ako nagtapon sa daan.”

Pero isang araw, eto na. Ang topic naman namin, ABS-CBN.

“Dapat talaga ipasara na yang ABS-CBN,” he blurted while we were about to go out for lunch. I asked calmly, “Bakit?” kahit nagpanting na tenga ko. This is my way of knowing how he processes his reasoning.

Ilang beses ka nang niloko, na-fake news ka pa!

“Nagpalabas sila ng ads against kay Duterte, yung kay Trillanes, sobra naman ang ginagawa nila. Napaka biased nila.” He replied.

“Bakit kelangan ipasara?” I asked patiently.

“Napakabastos ng ginawa nila, sabi nila pumapatay si Duterte. Dapat sa kanila pinapasara,” he was emotional.

I asked again, “Di ba dapat bigyan ng warning or suspension? Kung mali ang ginawa nila? Hindi ba curtailing ng freedom ng media yan? Bakit sara agad?”

“Sobra kase ginagawa nila, sinisiraan nila si Duterte kampi sila sa mga dilaw,” he said seriously.

“Hindi mo ba nakikita na gusto ipasara ni Duterte ang ABS kase hindi na-air ang ads nya dati nung election? And now that he is in power, pinapakita nya ang might nya?” Sabi ko naman.

“Hindi freedom ng media yun. Dapat responsable sila sa sinasabi nila. Nagkakalat sila ng fake news.”

I’m already heated. “Huh? Do you hear yourself? Bakit hindi ikaw ang tumigil sa pagbabasa sa Facebook? Ginagawa mong source ng balita ang unverified sources sa Facebook. Kaya ka may opinion na ganyan.

Saan mo nakita na dapat ipasara ang ABS? Sariling opinion mo o nabasa mo? Saan nakalagay sa batas na dapat ipasara ang TV station pag may sinabing masama against sa government? Dapat ba laging pro-government ang ilalabas ng mga TV station? Ano to North Korea?”

While he pointed out that the broadcast channel should censor their news contents and remove the bias. I tried to make him understand na discretion ng mga tao ‘yon, sila na ang bahala kung ano ang take nila.

President Duterte first. Truth second.

I saw that what mattered to him is the attack against the president. Wala syang pakialam sa fact na the president actually did something dehumanizing or something that is against the people’s best interest.

If that’s the case the he supports all the extra judicial killings, the lies, the rape jokes, the abuse. How can he turn a blind eye?

Huwag nalang.

I snapped.

Kunwari kaya ko…

“Alam mo this is non-negotiable, your support kay Duterte. Kung ganito din lang, di tayo magkakasundo. Wag na lang. Di ako manghihinayang. Kung nalaman ko lang agad…” I told him my frustration. And he was mad, thinking that I am ending our relationship because of politics.

“Ano? So iiwan mo na ko dahil nito? Dahil ayaw ko ng gusto mo?” He wants justification.

“Hindi ko sinabing gustuhin mo ang gusto ko. Go ahead with your beliefs. I’ll go ahead with mine. Hindi tayo magkakasundo. This is not about politics anymore!”

After a few minutes. “Maghihiwalay ba tayo dahil nito? Wala naman ako pakialam dun, wala akong sinusuportahan. Makinig ka sa akin. Mag aaway ba tayo dahil nyan?”

Pero ang bumingo talaga sa akin ay yung sinabi nya na:

“Hindi nga ako bumuboto..”

The gall! Kung makapagsalita kala mo bumoto!

This could break us, this divide between us will compromise the relationship we built. Everything we had together will be in vain, all because he supports the admin and I do not. Naisip ko rin naman, if this is the reason na mag aaway kami or maghihiwalay, what if iba na ang nakaupo sa government? May saysay pa ba na mag debate kami about it? Should I give this up? Should we let politics divide us? Still I ask myself, am I ready to leave him because of his support to Duterte or because it shows how easily he is influenced by fake news peddlers?

Ilang beses ka nang niloko, na-fake news ka pa!

Nakaka-turn off.

Does his choice of politicians shows his overall character? Does it reflect the values important to him?

If Duterte is gone and there is another politician who does the same, will he support that politician too?

Am I overthinking? Should I?

He is potentially the father of our future kids. Anong ituturo nya sa anak namin?

We made up, broke up.

Kaso…

At dahil DDS ako pagdating sa pagibig, pinagbigyan ko ulit.

Nagkabalikan kami.

Deep inside me, may savior mentality pa din. Feeling ko maliligtas ko pa sya sa mga baluktot na paniniwala.

Maaring mali ako.

Abangan ang susunod na kabanata.